The Hibachi Method

…or as I call it, treating stupid like a theory

Back in the day, Big Tobacco had “experts” and “research doctors” decrying the Surgeon General’s report on smoking and had paid big name celebrities to endorse Lucky Strike saying stuff like “Lucky Strike - they give you vim, vigor, and vitality in the morning!” This was done through the 1950s and 60s along with the Marlboro Man who, incidentally, died of cancer.

To clarify, I’ll use something I like to call the Hibachi Method as an example. When I was in junior high, there was this Korean kid whose whole family died because his dad lit a Hibachi, with coals, in the living room to heat the house. Supposedly, he was “off the boat” and didn’t know any better or so the local paper said. As I got older, I developed my own darker theories, but the fact is that they died…all of them.

Since 2013, California has had wildfires every month.

Figuratively speaking, we’re lighting a Hibachi into our atmosphere; you can’t displace space and not expect a result (hence the Displacement Theory). This is what we are doing to Earth, and it is showing up in massive ways; raging fires, torrential downpours (Harvey and Maria), floods, droughts, dying livestock, less fertile soil, etc. A couple years back, a trillion ton iceberg, the size of Delaware broke off in Antarctica.

Today, Global Warming deniers are hacks paid by some of the country’s biggest polluters. That’s a fact so please drop the media “objectivity” of paid corporate/think tank stooges and talking heads on the right as well as “moderate” liberals. It’s a 97 to 3 consensus confirming the grim reality. By my math, it’s easier to buy off 3 “scientists” out of 100 than the other way around.

“Fracking and drilling went up by 88% while I was in office! You’re welcome!”

Even the salvo of the corporatist/Democratic left, natural gas, is flawed. It’s expensive unless we frack and fracking has become the cheapest way to get it and the results are earthquakes in Texas and Oklahoma and polluted drinking water because the water tables are contaminated. As of this writing, 2,000 cities have water worse than Flint, MI. Biomass is another euphemism. We’re burning trees instead of coal for electricity, hence the “bio.” 63% of our electricity comes from burning fossil fuels and trees, which involve clear cutting.

By the way, all the stuff that we’re now being warned (and arguing) about is the exact same stuff we learned in my 8th grade science class! Even way back in the 1970s our science teacher was warning us about Global Warming. Mr. Keimi said that right about, let’s see, my watch says, NOW, we should be seeing what we have been seeing for the last ten years. This was a junior high science teacher in South Los Angeles, not Nostradamus.

Richard Nixon signed the EPA Act into law. He would not get the GOP nomination today…

If it’s about Big Business trying to save money, I get that. Some regulations can be costly, if not outright criminal (i.e. a bullshit vaccine), but when regulations are called protections, we don’t seem to mind that much. We may even be more objective. That’s like saying the victim of a gunshot wound died from lead poisoning and it’s not really the shooter’s fault because he was overregulated anyway! I’m reminded of the old Chris Rock joke about the uncle who sexually abused you, but he at least put you through college…

Here’s a plan; for the trillions given to the leech/vampires collectively known as Big Oil: I expect to pay $2/gallon for life! Moreover, everyone with a Social Security (PIN, etc.) number gets free medical and goes to college for free and gets participation in the form of quarterly corporate profit sharing from Big EVERYTHING, since our tax dollars create ungodly credit lines for them.

Biden has approved over 5,000 fracking and drilling permits, opening up federal and tribal lands to do it. He’s passed Trump’s four year mark.

I’m over the Christian Right yammering on about the end of the world. It may end, but there won’t be a payoff. Theoretically, we separate “church and state” and that’s why I like living here.

And please, if you think I’m wrong, light a Hibachi before you go to bed tonight and let me know how that works out for you. I’ll pay for the coroner report…Sleep tight.

Abe Abdelhadi hosts the Bitter Truth with Abe Abdelhadi on iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, etc.